Well, That's That, I Guess

Well, it's over. Finally. Mercifully.

In some ways, the end of this season was worse than last year. I know that sounds utterly ridiculous and I should probably be beaten about the head with large sticks for saying that, but hell, at least 0-16 was interesting, you know? Every game there was something to play for. It was like its own perverse little playoff run. ALL WE NEED IS ONE WIN AND WE'RE IN! This season, after Matthew Stafford finally was dragged to the sideline and stuffed inside a ton-ton by Han Solo(man, that's some epic nerdery right there), every game was just an exercise in grim and pointless death. Even the thought of potential victory couldn't elicit much joy because the whole thing just felt like it was taking place inside of a joyless, pointless vacuum. It had no bearing on the bigger picture, no bearing on what had come before or what would come after. It simply was there, in the moment, worthless and without real joy or sorrow.

But it's over now, and we can finally start to move on again. Matthew Stafford will be healthy next season, we will have a whole new draft class that will hopefully be as good - and healthier - than the inaugural Mayhew/Schwartz draft class, and maybe, just maybe, there will be a chance this team can actually be semi-decent. But that is a long way off, and a lot has to go right in between now and the beginning of next season for any of that to really be possible, and considering this epic fuck up of a franchise's track record, none of us should get our hopes up. Let's just take it as it comes. Remain hopeful, but let's not get carried away with dreams of candy and blowjobs for all. Yes, this is me trying to keep myself from getting bludgeoned like I did this season, when the buzzword was hope, and when that hope came crashing down, all we were left with was an empty and desolate wasteland that somehow was even more depressing than the apocalyptic fires of hell we were caught in the year before.

2-14. How did it come to this? In my season preview, after a billion words, a lot of tears, some sweat, and even a couple of mild erections(wait . . . what?), I said that the absolute bottom for this team was probably 3-13. In retrospect, this was probably wildly optimistic. I mean, the real bottom for a team coming off of an 0-16 season can't really be quantified, and it's kind of absurd to honestly believe that the worst case scenario involves a three game improvement, but what the hell, 0-16 made monsters and idiots of us all. Still, even 3-13 seemed like a terrible mark for this team. I was thinking somewhere more along the lines of 5-11 and I even hoped for 7-9. Yes, you can both laugh at and pity me because my wildest dreams for this team involved a 7-9 record. Still, seven wins was an absurd hope, a massive improvement over what came before. But 5 wins, for whatever reason, seemed feasible, seemed doable. It meant the team would still be pretty shitty, but not Lions shitty, if that makes any sense. Of course it doesn't, but what the hell, you are all used to nonsensical blather from me by now.

Still, none of that answers the question of how 2-14 came to be. It's all just a lot of noise about unrealistic expectations and fanciful hopes. The stunning reality is that, had everyone stayed healthy, I think 5-11 would have been more than doable, and 7-9 could have even been had - if things had broken just the right way, anyway. And that's the sad story behind this once hopeful season. No one could stay healthy. It's simple, it's not really all that exciting, and it doesn't involve me breaking down into weird gibberish about werewolves jello wrestling with vampire apes and Tom Cruise(which, sadly enough, is something I think I have actually written before). This team suffered an absurd amount of injuries to everyone - from the franchise quarterback to the starting running back to the 53rd man on the roster - and the Lions simply had no hope of recovering from any of it.

The sad reality, the one that made 7-9 a wildest dream kind of scenario, was that even with everyone healthy and everything breaking right, this team simply wasn't good enough. They were too thin at key positions, too inexperienced and under-talented to truly be able to compete this year, and they would have had to fight with everything they had just to tread water and keep from sinking into that vast ocean of failure once again. It becomes impossible to even tread water though when someone comes along and cuts off your legs and breaks both of your arms. And so, like every other miserable year, the Lions drowned.

The thing is, though, is that this isn't quite just like every other year. Usually, there's nothing really to look forward to, because usually the Lions drown even with all of their faculties and limbs intact. They simply just aren't ever good enough, and there's little hope in expecting them to miraculously swim one day. But this year, we saw flashes, we saw hope, we saw them start to kick and not only tread water, but start to move against the tide towards shore. It was slow, almost imperceptible at times, but it was there, and when they did move, it was wonderful and it made me truly believe that some day not so far off they will make it to shore, climb out of the water and run amok on the shocked beachgoers, naked and . . . okay, I have carried this way too far, but what the hell, certain moments this season made me excited, so you can't really blame me.

Matthew Stafford will be a star. I am not afraid to say that, point blank, and without reservation or qualification. He will be a star, and that is an awesome thing to not only believe, but to know. He wasn't healthy virtually the entire season, and yet, without much practice time with his receivers, without a functioning shoulder or knee, he managed to make the Lions seem like they were on the verge of something good for a change. I can't tell you how rare that is around here. We don't get to feel that very often as Lions fans, and when it comes along it is almost like a jolt of raw electricity, shocking us out of our dazed ennui and making us want to believe that we might actually be able to root for a real live functioning football team again one day.

When Stafford went out for the season, it was a stark and brutal reminder of just how much he changed the dynamic. It was stunning really, to realize that with him, the football world seemed so much brighter, so much warmer, than it did without him. With him, the football world seemed open, inviting, and we couldn't wait to clamber over the next hill to see what was on the other side. Without him, it felt like a fucking Gulag. It was cold, miserable, and utterly without hope, point or reason. All there was to wait for was grim death, and on Sunday, against the Bears, when the final gun went off, that's finally what we were given.

I don't know what next season will bring. Good things, I hope. I'm just glad that whatever this season was is finally over. I wish it could have been different. I wish I could have watched Matthew Stafford, Brandon Pettigrew, Calvin Johnson, and everyone else develop together, game by game, getting better and better, stronger and stronger. But that's not the way it happened, and that's just the way it is. We got what we got, it was disappointing, exciting in isolated bursts, and in the end confusing and schizophrenic. It's hard to know exactly how to feel about it all. Sad? Hopeful? Angry? Relieved? Maybe all of those, and more, are appropriate right now. All I know is that I'm excited to see what comes next, and honestly, it's been a really, really long time since the Lions let me feel that way.

One last note: with the end of the season, I won't be posting as much - obviously - but I will still post fairly often. At least once a week, maybe more if I'm in the mood. In the coming weeks, I will be posting my massive season review in chunks. It will be absurd and will probably end up being completely unwieldy, but what the hell, we have come this far, there is no point in moderation now. I will also talk about whatever newsworthy bullshit surrounding the Lions pops up, the draft, etc., and so there will always be shit for me to write about and for you to hopefully read, so stick around, keep checking back here, and all that jazz. We have been through a lot over the past couple of seasons, and for those of you who have been reading this gibberish from the start, well, number one, you are insane, and number two, thanks for sticking with me. And for those of you who have discovered this weirdness somewhere along the way, well, first of all, I apologize for dragging you down this fucked up rabbit hole, and secondly, thanks for giving it - and me - a chance. I write far more about this bullshit than I probably should, but I am a prideful beast, and I love to write and the combination leads to whatever the hell this thing is that is my corner of this blog. We are all idiots and fools for caring about such things, but to hell with all that, I am your idiot, and you are my fools, and that is good enough for me. I am just rambling now, and for the six people who are probably still reading this, I apologize, and as always, vaya con dios.