Armchair Linebacker: !!!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

!!!

Posted by L.N. at Saturday, March 07, 2009

Email This BlogThis!Share to Twitter Share to Facebook

Teams/Divisions: AFC East, Buffalo Bills

0 comments:

ARMCHAIR LINEBACKER BLOG!

Football. No matter what anyone says, this is the true national pastime, and because of that far too many of us have been swallowed up by the monster storm called fandom, spiraling further and further into the abyss until finally, all we can do is holler back, screaming into the void hoping that someone, somewhere might hear our fool words.

That is what this blog is all about, giving a voice to those who need to just get it all out because their own team has clubbed them over the head one too many times. We are all idiots, utterly without dignity or decency, but we are fans and we believe despite ourselves that somehow this football thing will someday be worth all that idiocy and pain.

If you think you have something to say about your team, or if you just want to say hello or hell, even if you just want to yell at us, hit Raven Mack up at armchairlinebacker@gmail.com (@rojonekku in twitters) or Neil up at neilabfree@gmail.com (@armchairLB in twitters) and before you know it, you too may be gibbering like a lunatic for the world to see. Come, join us, and we will gnaw on the bones of the wicked and the foolish together. Football. What can we say? We love it.

RECENT FAVORITES!

Chris Cooley Appreciate Post
Thanksgiving With The Lions
Dolphins Watch: In lieu of actual vision, steal someone else's
The World Is Filled With Morons But Who Cares? And Other Observations From Super Bowl XLVI
The Death Of A Dynasty
Just End The Season 4: The Phantom Menace
Inside the Mind of a Pats Fan
The New England Patriots...We Just Win, Sometimes Even We Don't Know How
Redskins 3-3 Positives/Negatives Metasciences Week Six Recap
9-5 Records Are Like Assholes Cuz Everybodies Got One

BOOTLEG JERSEY APPRECATION DRIVE 2011!

Click the button above to donate money in appreciation for whatever the fuck it is we are doing here. In your donation, make mention of what you love most about our site. After Super Bowl XLVI in February, we will tally up the totals, and get bootleg Chinaman football jerseys for your favorite writers here at ACLB, to hopefully have something to show for sharing their personal miseries on a public forum.
JERSEYS BOUGHT IN JERSEY DRIVE 2011 SO FAR: zero.

SIFT THRU AC LB!

Loading...

TEAMS/DIVISIONS/THEMES

#1 overall picks 1906 Earthquake 2011 team previews 3-1 means nothing 420 24/7 A new low a win is a win Aaron Rodgers Abe Lincoln ACLB bragging rights Actual Football Talk AFC East AFC North AFC South AFC West air it out AJ Hawk al davis death Al Davis hates me al davis obit Albert Haynesworth Alex Smith Alex Smith is a hero Alex Smith Not Sucking All ACLB All ACLB Team 2011 Almost unbelievable audacity Alphonso Smith Always Look on the Bright Side of Life do doo do do do do do do do doooooo Andrew Luck sweepstakes Andy MVP Lee Andy Reid the fat genius Arizona Cardinals Arkham City Armchair Linebacker ass and titties ass ass titties titties ass and titties Atlanta Falcons Australian Rules Football Avoiding The Big Fuck Up Aztec Sacrifices Baboon's Ass baby-killing Bad Boys Baltimore Ravens barely making sense Barry Sanders BBQ Beautiful Dreams Best Buy Big Ben big ones in all three holes Bill Bellychick Bill Parcells Bill Parcels BillsJetsMageddon birthdays Bitching blow it all up and start over Booooooo borderline personality disorder boy Kyle Shanahan is not so great at coaching is he brain damage Brandon Marshall Brett Favre Brian Urlacher Brotherhood Bruce Miller IS #49 Bubby Brister mentions Buffalo Bills bye week and no football make homer go crazy CA-CA-CA-CA-YEEEAAAYAAHH Caleb Campbell caleb Hanie Cam Newton Carolina Panthers carson palmer Carson Palmer is NOT a douche celestial-body-based paganism ceremonies and rituals Chad Henne Channing Crowder Charles Woodson Chicago Bears China Dolls Chris Conte Chris Cooley is awesome Chuck Bresnahan can eat a dick Cincinnati Bengals Clay Matthews' long hair Cleveland Browns Clock Management coaching geniuses cobras cocaine college coaches making the transition concussing the opposition Corleone Baptism corporate engagements Countless Obscentities crazy uncles Cris Collinsworth the fountain of bitterness Crisis Averted cryptic messages cuckoldry Dallas Cowboys Dan Carpenter Dance Party USA Daryl Drank date rape Death Deepak Chopra on Angel Dust Defense Defense Wins Championships? Denver Broncos Detroit Detroit Lions Dexter Manley Dick Stockton dirtbag O-linemen Doc Brown Dom Capers Don't Worry About Me I'll Just Huff Some Ether Donovan McNabb douche bags Doug Hogue draft bullshit drama dramatic situation analysis dresses Drew Stanton drug induced ramblings Drunk Drunk Driving dumb mountain metaphors educated black guys Eli Manning email bitching Emo Bullshit Epic Bullshit Erik Kramer Ernie Sims eternal suck Everybody Chill examples of Clinton Portis being awesome exorcising failure demons Experimentation expert pickins extensive replay Fail fake money dreams false hopes fear Fear and Loathing fighting the monsters fines fixed outcomes Football damn it football Football Illuminati football in Los Angeles For Whom the Bell Tolls forcing ourselves to finish things Fords former Hurricanes Frederick P. Soft free agency Free at last free at last thank God almighty I'm free at last fuck Double J fuck everything fuck Jared Allen fuck JoePa fuck police Fuck Rod Marinelli Fuck the Bears fuck the future Fuck the Haters Fuck the Packers fuck the Ravens fuck this shit Fuck Thom Brennaman fuckin' gut punch FUKKIN METAL functional alcoholism futuristic visions Gabe Carimi Gamblers Anonymous Game Notes gay pride General Sherman George McCaskey Get Hyped Gibberish Gibberish about Dragons Great Lakes Classic Greed Green Bay Packers Groundhog Day guidos gunslingers not named Brett Haiku HAIL SATAN Hammurabi Hangovers Haters Gonna Hate He's not QUITE dead headbutting a wall stud repeatedly Hell hey look a monkey Hippies History Lesson holiday blues Home Necronomics Hope horrible gibberish horror Houston Texans hyperbole Hyperbolic Glee I apologize for whatever the fuck this is I dared to dream but then I was sad but now that is over and there is sunshine in my heart I don't even know what in the hell this is I don't know Jared Allen seems like a bitch I sure hope this post isn't hilarious by this time on Sunday I sure hope this post isn't hilarious by this time tomorrow I Want My Money Back I want to know what love is I want to punch whoever thought giving away a home game every year was a good idea I wish I didn't have to write this but ... here we are I'm so sorry for this I'm sorry for this I've written some ridiculous gibberish but this shit is just on a whole new level If I knew I was going to be traveling back to 2008 I would have looked up some winning lotto numbers If you don't like swearing . . . this might not be the place for you ill-advised smack talk impending doom Important games Inbox Gold Indianpolis Colts InshaAllah ISSUES J'Marcus Webb Jacksonville Jaguars Jake Long James Harrison Jason Hanson Jay Cutler Jedi Jeff Backus Jeff Ireland Jeremy Shockey Jermichael Finley Jerry Angelo Jesus freaks Jim Harbaugh Jim Mora saying PLAYOFFS? Jim Schwartz Jimmy Raye Joe Gibbs is better than you realize Johnny Culbreath Jon Gruden is a terrible person Jordan Dizon Joshua Cribbs Julian Peterson Kansas City Chiefs Karlos Dansby Kenny Stabler King of the Lions Fans Kyle Orton Landon Johnson Lazy Blogging lengthy orations Let's Do This Fucking Thing letting love open the door to my heart Linemen Catching Passes live blog Liverpool LOCKOUT 2011 London Losing A Winnable Game Lovie Smith Madden cover curse Madness Magic Number Magick Making Excuses Manifestos Mario Manningham Mark Sanchez Matt Forte Matt Moore Matthew Stafford Matthew Stafford is Superman and Abraham Lincoln all rolled into one meat and potatoes Meltdowns Mental Breaks Meta Meta Bullshit Metaphors Imagery Symbolism and Neil metasciences Miami Dolphins Michael Vick Michigan favoritism Mikael LeShoure Mike Martz Mike Pereira Lizard Man Mike Sellers Mike Shanahan child molester Mikel LeShoure Minnesota Vikings Monday Fucking Night Ya'll Monday Night football monkeys more like Brian Douchelacher amirite more like Muammar Snyder amirite Mortal Kombat Motherfucking Real Talk Mushrooms My God . . . Just . . . My God NAVORRO BOWMAN Nazis Ndamukong Suh Neil's brain nerding the fuck out to prove a goddamned point NEVER FORGET (c) New England Patriots New Orleans Saints New York Giants New York Jets newspapers are what we used to look at for timely events NFC NFC East NFC North NFC South NFC West NFLuminati Index Nick Fairley Ninnyism No I will not calm down No Mercy Norv Turner the stupidface NY Giants Oakland Raiders oh man Taiwan amirite? oh man the internet Ohio is a terrible place opiates ORAKKIGAN Out-Coached Owners suck Pain Panic parenting Pat White Patience is a great GNR song PATRICK WILLIS personal histories pessimism Philadelphia Eagles Philosophical Bullshit pimped out cars Pittsburgh Steelers playing for the draft at this point Playoffs Y'all PLAYOFFS please God won't you give Dan Snyder terminal cancer Pluck Poetry Time Poor Kyle Williams positivity possibly gay Postgame postmortem Predictions Preseason dreams preseason failures Preview Type Thing prisoners Progress Report psychic abilities punter formulas Quarterback Controversy Quarterback Intelligence RAGE Random Thoughts ranting rape reality sucks Rebuilding repeating something incessantly to make a point Reposts Restless Glee Retarded Destiny Revenge Rex Grossman is a stupid Rex Grossman is not a stupid Rex Ryan Richard Dent Rick Reilly and Bill Simmons fucking suck so fuck you if you like them Ricky Williams Ridiculous Gibberish rivalry week Roary robots vs. humans Roethliscock Roger Goodell's cat asshole face Rohypnol romosohomo Sage Rosenfels salary cap casualties Sam Hurd same old shit Samoans San Diego Chargers San Francisco 49ers Science Scott Linehan Seattle Seahawks sebastian janikowski is your pasty fat jesus secret porn links See Europe We Can Try To Kill Each Other Over Football Like Morons Too Senseless Babble Sepultura Shameful Self Indulgence Shameful whining Shaun Rogers shi shit talk shitty posts Shitty Teams sighing about Dan Snyder again simple pleasures of animal farming Sisu Skittles sluts Soccer somebody hold me Sophie's Choice Special Ed Championship Bout Spirit Warriors St. Calvin St. Louis Rams stabbing people Stalinist Purges At The QB Position Stefan Logan Stephen Ross stfu Story Time Strange But Not Terrible Times stupid Eagles stupid Manning family stupidity Suck For Luck Super Bowl XLV Super Bowl XLVI Swagger Take Your Dream Team And Shove It Tampa Bay Buccaneers tantrums Ted Ginn Jogs Faster Than You Run Tennessee Titans terrible terrible darkness Thanksgiving THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME the 1980s the ACLB LiveBlog Experience The Catch the Cowboys suck The Devil the Dolphins are really bad at this drafting thing The Doom of 2010 The End Of The Fun Part The Fear The final stage is acceptance The Ghosts Of Candlestick Past The Great Willie Young the Hall of Fame is no longer dead to me The Lions in Winter the New Americanism the new NFL kinda sucks the New South The Other Catch The Other Other Catch the philosophy of greatness The Ravings of a Diseased Mind the Smash Mouth Philosophy The terrible past This is fucking ridiculous Thursday Games Tiebreakers Tim Toone Titus Young Tom Brady Tom Lewand Tony Sparano Tony Sparano masturbates to field goals too many rules torn Achillies Tortured Metaphors tribalism Triumphantish Troy Smith trustworthiness tuna Unfantasy Football Ungrateful Bitching unheralded heroes UpHere valhalla Vicious Beatings Victory Viking Funerals violence terrible violence wang Washington Redskins watching football and beating women We Have No Mouth And We Must Scream Weird Back to the Future fanfic Weird Shit Similes And Metaphors Weird Star Wars Fanfic Welcome Back Kevin Smith werewolves Wes Welker What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me? white people Whoring why is Dan Snyder's dick so small why Tim Tebow is doomed to fail Why? Wild Eyed Gibberish Willie Young Wow I Was Right YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH youtubes Zack Follett zombies Zoroastrianism Überklaw Julius Peppers

ALL-PAST BULLSHIT!

► 2012 (17)
- ► February (1)
  - The World Is Filled With Morons But Who Cares? And...
- ► January (16)

► 2011 (266)
- ► December (21)
- ► November (37)
- ► October (57)
- ► September (46)
- ► August (39)
- ► July (22)
- ► June (3)
- ► May (8)
- ► April (2)
- ► March (5)
- ► February (12)
- ► January (14)

► 2010 (295)
- ► December (41)
- ► November (51)
- ► October (59)
- ► September (40)
- ► August (15)
- ► July (7)
- ► June (5)
- ► May (12)
- ► April (41)
- ► March (11)
- ► February (6)
- ► January (7)

▼ 2009 (236)
- ► December (17)
- ► November (33)
- ► October (41)
- ► September (53)
- ► August (27)
- ► July (6)
- ► June (6)
- ► May (7)
- ► April (15)
- ▼ March (12)
- ► February (12)
- ► January (7)

► 2008 (204)
- ► December (30)
- ► November (28)
- ► October (29)
- ► September (75)
- ► August (5)
- ► July (3)
- ► June (2)
- ► April (2)
- ► February (2)
- ► January (28)

SUBSCRIBE!

Posts

Atom

Posts

Comments

Atom

Comments

REGGIE ROBY!

Reggie Roby is the human mascot for this blog because while everyone was all up-in-arms about black quarterbacks, he was silently The Black Punter. Not only that though, because he was the best and wore a wristwatch on his arm to create the factoid of hangtime, because he knew his shit, even though it looked like he didn't. Reggie Roby personifies the open-minded know-it-allness punter mentality of The Armchair Linebacker. That's our man.

Awesome Inc. template. Powered by Blogger.